The Family and other Humans

Tonight is Teenager's parents evening. I've already seen the report and (grudgingly) have to admit she is doing OK. Art seems a problem, but then you've either got talent or you haven't. I think she'll be like me, that is totally talentless (as my guitar lessons indicate, and my drawings at matchstick people level also indicate), but able to therefore appreciate artistic talent even more. All she has to do is attain some decent musical taste. Got the Evanescence album legitimately yesterday, and for whatever reason it sounds even better now it's legal. I am meeting DC at the school, and I think Teenager might be there as well...I wonder if her yoBfriend will be about? My brother in law (Big Sykes) saw him last week at the swimming pool, with Teenager and the She-Teen crew. Apparently he is a bit ..vertically challenged, however so am I so maybe we have a common base...dunno why I worry coz he is the first and therefore it is doomed. Big Sykes has decided to christen him Mini-Me, which made me laugh, but Teenager is most definitely not amused. I therefore will do what all good Dads do, and use this nickname at every opportunity as another "tool of torment".

I have 2 bro-in-laws, the other one is Small Sykes. Big Sykes is married to DC's youngest sister, who I get on very well with, mainly because we seem very similar in our personalities...we both say what we think. She doesn't really have a pseudonym, so I'll call her LittleSis. The middle sister (hereafter known as MiddleSis) is married to Small Sykes and is quieter than LittleSis and DC, a former "rock chick" who reminds me very much of Phoebe from Friends - dunno why really because she isn't scatty, but sometimes she just seems that way. It's a clever ploy if you ask me.

I have 2 brothers, the middle one is Shitneck, the youngest I haven't seen or spoke to for about 8 years...nothing nasty , we just seem to have grown apart, plus he had a few difficulties with his marriage a few years ago. He thought he could share his "love" with others, but his wife disagreed. From that point on he fought to win her back, and when he did he decided to "marginalise "Shitneck and me in order to concentrate on making the marriage work second time around. It took a few years but he failed and as far as I know he is hitched up with a danish bird of about 22 (he is 33)who allegedly has erased most of his previous life including pictures or references to his kids. He was so unreliable to us we decided to call him Dave (in a Trigger/Rodney sort of way). It isn't his name, but it seems to fit. Then of course there are my Parents in law - The Grand Master and Raptor (formerly known as Medusa). I love them both, no really! They aren't like parents in law because they are quite young (late 50's), and as I grow older I see my attitude changing like the Grand Masters. He is a fully fledged Grumpy Old Man, and when they come down this weekend we will make our usual trip to the Pub, and he can talk to The Governor and me and we can moan together...it's a form of male bonding I guess. He loves the pub, it is his idea of the perfect place to have a few beers and a chat in nice surroundings. Can't argue with that.

Later, Jack the Grocer