Things I know about football……..or Grocerjack 4-Sven Fuckwit 3

Sven’s team talks at half time must be shit because when we come out for second halves we look like a lost cause (as when we played Argentina, Brazil, France and now Portugal). I remember after losing to Brazil, a senior player, when asked what was said at half time quoted "We wanted Winston Churchill...we got Ian Duncan-Smith". Nuff said.

Sven got the tactics and substitutions terribly wrong last night. He sent huge signs of capitulation with those last two substitutions

Scolari (the Portuguese coach) kicked every ball, headed every header, felt every tackle. Sven looked a little exasperated at best, and McLaren sighed occasionally. Bring on Sam Allardyce and get the passion back.

Defending a one goal lead is tantamount to suicide, it rarely works.

English footballers are chokers as are most English sportsmen/women (Rugby team are exceptions for the time being). Stand up Tim Henman, the supreme choker and Life president of ECC (English Choker Club).

In the Premiership all of those players would be trying to score goals, so why do they heed what Sven says?

We are shit at penalties

Beckham is not a leader – time to hand the captaincy on. Maybe like Botham he can then be the player he was two years ago.

Why take Joe Cole and Kieron Dyer and then bring on Phil Neville and Owen Hargreaves? At least Cole (greedy) and Dyer (fast) would try and take the game to Portugal.

Phil Neville wouldn’t get in my local pub team. Never darken the England team again.

Owen Hargreaves in NOT international class, he’d struggle playing for Leicester

Emile Heskey is absolved from blame as he didn’t play last night. Still a donkey though.

David James should hand over to Kirkland from Liverpool and quick

Paul Scholes cannot perform for England. He is a spent force.

Ashley Cole was superb (that hurts coming from a Chelsea fan), so was Sol Campbell.

Hats off to Gary Neville, Frank Lampard, Michael Owen, Stephen Gerrard

For me the tournament is over. I have 6 football free weeks until the Premiership starts.

I will never see England win a major football tournament in my lifetime (1966 doesn’t count because I was only 4 at the time!)

I am emotionally spent and cannot summon enough to pledge allegiance to any of the remaining teams, even my adopted future homeland of France.

From now on it must be Club (my beloved Chelsea) before Country for me. I do not have enough emotional and passionate currency for both. When Sven goes I will allow myself to be bothered again.

I know the last statement will disappear at the next England game,

I know my Club will let me down at some point this coming season.

Later, Grocerjack