Jack is Back......

What a weekend. Where do I start?

I don't want to tempt fate, but my sore throat appears to have gone :-) My theory is split into 2 camps as to why. One is that when you are running at 100% all the time, you don't have time to get ill. When that stops, you relax and then you get ill. Your body is off guard and you suddenly have time to get ill. That's why so many people get sore throats and colds when on holiday. My previous job was very high pressure, and this new one patently isn't (see postings passim!) so my levels have fallen, and thats where the throat became infected.This may not be medically sound, so if you know then please put a comment in. My other theory is that this is the longest period I haven't been in the office for for months, well since Christmas anyway. Perhaps my office is a "sick building". I'll find out in the next week or so I suppose.

Well, down to the weekend then. Where shall I start?

Bob6 has a friend, he bought him along for the weekend.
I didn't like his friend. Neither did The King.
We called him CounterMan.

The game of golf is a gentlemans/womans game. It is steeped in etiquette, some silly, some necessary. When you play golf with friends you tend to have a laugh, maybe a little side bet. What you don't do is count all the other players shots. This is what CounterMan did. On every game he counted all, including Bob6's, of our shots, which means he can't be focussing too much on his own game. My view is that when someone "questions" your score, this is a deflectionary tactic, because I never question anyones score. I never retort with "are you sure you got 5 there". The only person they are cheating on is themselves. So, I play my game, I concentrate on my scores. This bloke questioned both me and The King several times, plus he accused us both at certain times of producing balls from our pockets instead of declaring one lost. Again, this is just downright rude in my view. We weren't in anything other than a friendly competition, with me trying to put some scorecards together for my handicap records. He also accused us of "banditry", whereby we were playing off handicaps that weren't right. Both The King and me are genuinely certificated, mine from February this year and The Kings from early March.

This is how not to make friends in the golf world.

The King: Hello CounterMan, how did you do?
CounterMan: oooh, a 95 or 96..I think, what did you get then King?
The King: 96
CounterMan: oh...yeah I got 95.

Repeat the conversation but replace The King with me, and the scores from to 90 and 91. Do this over every round. Now you get the picture!

If Counterman was capable of holding any sort of interesting conversation, or stringing together any intelligent sentences, in fact adding anything to the group dynamic it might have changed my opinion. But he didn't. He is an empty vessel.

Bob6 had a complete nightmare and veered from club throwing, to swearing tantrums of the best quality. I felt for him, because we all go there at some time during golf. To go away for a weekend and play 6 rounds of golf, with only the last one bearing any resemblance to something good is a complete pisser for the individual. Bob8 might be a better name from now on, because he carded more 8's than I have ever seen anyone play over 4 days. But Bob6 did add to the conversation and he was genuinely warm in his praise of us. He did his turn at the bar and although he still has the behavioural protocols issue, it was much better than last year. He also provided us with the comedy moment of the weekend. He hit one shot and we watched as he looked down to us, but the ball was nowhere to be seen, then he looked to each side of where he was, again nothing. Then he looked behind him in case he had topped it so bad that the ball had spun back. Nothing. We were laughing by now, as was he. The kind of laughing that makes your legs go weak. He then noticed a 6 inch hole wehere the ball had been. Yep, he had single handedly tried to drill this ball through to Australia. The King and I (?) were about 150 yards from him, laughing violently by now. Bob6 drove the buggy to us, and showed this now black object, clasped inside his mud caked hand. We were crying by this time.

It took us 5 minutes before any of us could play another shot without breaking into gales of laughter. He took this well, he is after all my friend.

CounterMan thought this was out of order. Even Bob6 had to straighten him out on that one.

The weather was just as I described. Windy, cold and rainy. Thanks Devon! On Saturday, in the space of 2 holes we went from cold, wind burnt by the fiercesome gales blown into our faces, to completely and utterly soaked through to the skin. My glove was like a sponge. Even the single malts in the hip flasks couldn't help us on this one. We gave up with 2 holes left to play and went to the bar - and a good drinking session then took the sting out of the shortened round of golf. Overall though it was a good place, with good food, free golf, 4 pints at the bar for £9.00, all for £140, not bad at all. No Guinness though! I thought it might be a disaster, but they had a substitute drink instead. Beamish. It's not quite the top stuff like Guinness, but it's close enough. I drank quite a bit of it to ensure that it had my full quality approval. It's the best way innit!

So Counterman aside, it was an enjoyable and incredibly stress free weekend. I feel recharged. In a month I go to Spain with The King and The Major, plus The Worrier (a friend of The King), for a weeks golf, hopefully wind and rain free. That is the BIG one, where I want to peak. It's going to be a long 4 weeks!

DC, Teenager and Baby are having a great time in Spain. Its very warm and very sunny. My turn will come :-)

Nice to be back, GrocerJack