Wednesday, April 07, 2004

It was me wot won it.....

You see , it was my football martyrdom that made that happen last night. I didn't wear a Chelsea shirt, I didn't peek at the Internet, I didn't listen to the radio or watch the TV. I posted to this, and then studied. This alone was the sole cause of the victory last night. It had nothing to do with tactics, team selection, skill, team unity, professionalism or luck. It was because I suffered my own self inflicted solitary confinement for the greater good of Chelsea fans all over. Only true football (and sports) fans know what I am talking about.

At 21:35, I received a phone call from my brother in law.

I didn't answer it, after all I had yet to discover whether my solitary confinement had created the right result.

Shit - I had forgotten the answerphone.... I ran the length of the room to try and press the button to disconnect the call. Too late.....all I heard was SmallSykes yelling and shouting incomprehensible expletives into my answerphone. Then I heard those immortal words "At fucking last we done 'em", followed by a chorus of our signature chant at Chelsea

Carefree, wherever we may be
We are the famous CFC
And we don't give a fuck
Wherever we may be
Coz we are the famous CFC.

It's sung to the tune of Lord of the Dance. There must be some irony in there somewhere. Almost as good as my favourite poem that one. One of my favourite Chelsea chants, purely because of it's simplicity and the clarity of its message is

We hate Arsenal
And we hate Arsenal
We hate Arsenal
and we hate Arsenal
We hate Arsenal and we hate Arsenal
We are the Arsenal haters

Absolute fucking genius whoever came up with that lyrical prose. Anyway, I had expected to lose and had planned to prove today that this showed conclusively that God is also The Devil, but it seems that God may also be a Chelsea fan and was merely saving the best until last. Perhaps I'll save that theory for another day.

Back in the office today, so I'll be people watching for the rest of the day. Just to see if the lunacy of this organization is continuing along its unswervingly demotivating and demoralising path. We have a Team Meeting today. At this moment it feels like I'm waiting to sit in a room full of arselickers and at least one or two Corporate cock suckers. Still, it keeps the imagination flowing.

M is chairing the meeting, so we can expect it to start 5 minutes late whilst he loudly finishes off a mobile conversation with someone very "self) important. Undoubtedly he will believe that we will be very impressed by this. No doubt the others, who have always worked for him will also be thinking this, but I'm sure that amongst this lumpy, humourless crew there is at least one or two fellow subversives. They just don't know it yet, but I will be their liberator! As I get to know some more of this motley crew they will be added to the cast, and in the next month or so we will be co-located, so I will be coerced into getting to know them better. And so will you!

Later, Grocerjack

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