I don't believe them......

According to all the Weather sites, Southern Spain only gets about 5 days rain in May, so unless they're concentrated in 1 week, I think the forecast is as flaky as one of Jeffrey Archers promises. Besides, it's changed from last night to Rain on Sunday, cloud on Monday, Sunny Spells (a real cop out caveat that one) on Tuesday and for the rest of the week. Did I appear to be sulking? Well, in my defence here are rule numbers 28&29 from the constitution of the GoGB

28.) You will happily cut your nose off to spite your face.
29.) You believe sulking is an attractive trait, and an effective method of
getting your own way.

So, in my view this merely reaffirms my own membership within the GoGB. And it feels good to belong.

I played Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd) this morning on the way in. I think this just pips The Wall as my favourite album of all time, and would definitely be on my Desert Island. It lifted the general air of gloom quite a bit, although not totally. The lyrics to the actual track Wish You Were Here have always been a bit of a mystery to me but today they actually became crystal clear to me. As if they summed up my life at the moment perfectly.

So
So you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue sky’s from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.


I think there must be something bothering me subconsciously, but as yet I can't fathom out what it is. Something definitely isn't right though. I'll let you know when i find out what it is, but my suspicions are pointing to dissatisfaction and sheer boredom at work. The Sandman hasn't confirmed the additional functions to my role, and despite my cynicism (in general) I think this was something I would have enjoyed greatly. Similar to the proverbial drowning man grasping at the straw perhaps? Perhaps it's just a general 40-something malaise? You know, the "is this all there is" syndrome.

We have a tapping noise in the bedroom. It's almost as regular as a clock ticking. I spent an hour last night trying to find the source - no luck. Weirdly, like all these noises you think you can determine the direction and the source, but when you look into it the noise seems to emanate from different areas. It’s as if it knows you're trying to find it. Well, I will find the bastard because it is driving me mad. What will happen is it will eventually become a benchmark noise, that is strangely comforting, and eventually like a drug, something that needs to be there for me to drift off. I used to hate the dawn chorus waking me up (I am a light sleeper), but now I love it, especially during the spring/summer months. Why? Because I know I'm still alive. It welcomes the day to me, and for fucks sake, the little bastards sound so damn cheerful, it's hard not be infected by this. On my Desert Island the sound of the sea lapping the shore would send me off, the sound of the birds would wake me up. I will make the Desert Island List on another post.

A strange thing happened on Monday night. At 01:30 in the morning teenager burst into the bedroom. Unfortunately we were both asleep. Fortunately we were both asleep (work it out!). DC can sleep through anything, whereas if a mouse farts in the field behind our house I am awake. DC stirred briefly, I jumped out of my skin. But when I looked at the door she wasn't there. I got up and went to her room. Baby was fast asleep (she has her own room but doesn't like being alone). But teenager was sitting there with the TV on with Friends on DVD, but paused. Bizarre!

Scene 1: Teenagers Room

Jack (angry) : What are you doing?
Teenager: What

Jack (angrier): Errr. what do you think you're doing
Teenager: (no answer just blank stare)

Jack (fucking furious): TEENAGER (raised voice) WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?
Teenager: Shutup!

Jack (penny starting to drop) : (moves round the bed) WHAT...... (notices that teenager hasn't moved her head or eyes)

Jack(momentarily freaked out) : ...shall I turn the TV off sweetie...
Teenager: I don't know.......(coils up, shuts eyes and falls back to sleep)

Jack (relieved): Night
Teenager: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Scene 2: Jack's bedroom

DC: What was that all about
Jack: She's got your trait .......she's a sleepwalker
DC: Oh well..never mind
Jack (thinks): ....yeah great another sleepwalker to deal with
Jack (says): Maybe she's worried about something
DC: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Jack (thinks) : Thats my sleep over

2 hours later I drifted off for a massive two and a half hours sleep before getting up for work.

You see DC is a "walker". Now it appears that teenager has also inherited that trait. At various times I have stopped DC from going shopping at 3 in the morning...naked (well why would she need clothes when she's asleep), from climbing into the top of the wardrobe (yep, the top) on the assumption she was sorting the kitchen cupboards out and most bizarrely from taking a foot stool into the toilet to get on the toilet, and then to talk to about work that day! As if it was someone she had worked with! In a way, I think it's good I'm a light sleeper because one day I'm convinced she'll try tightrope walking along the roof, or dive out the window in the belief she's an Olympic Gymnast! Whatever, I will keep tabs on them both, but believe me in the early hours of the morning it is a very spooky experience.

I asked Teenager about it yesterday morning and obviously she had no recollection. Weirdly, she thought it was very funny and seemed to view it as an honour that she was like her mum. She was VERY cheerful about this. I just stood there with black rings round my eyes, knackered, irritable, yawning and thinking "Why Me"!

Later, Grocerjack