Another What The Fuck email……….

Every now and then I get the odd gem of an email sent to me, and I like to share these with you. I received the one below this morning as a courtesy copy to The Stumbler and do I understand what the fuck it’s about? Errr…..do I fuck!

The guy who sent this is a nice chap on first meeting, but then you realise this sort of gobbledygook bollocks is his whole life. This is a man who applies process to his weekly Tesco shop, or applies techniques to parking his car, walking his dog and for all I know bashing one out when his wife is out (and yes, you all do the same thing, women as well as men so don’t deny it). This guy is ex-military, officer class and now he thinks I’m his mate so he keeps sidling up to my desk for discrete little chats. The problem is, the chats are all about the sort of shite written below, or they’re anecdotes of his experiences at various “blue-chips”. Unfortunately for me, they not even funny anecdotes, let alone interesting. I shall call him The Officer for want of a better nickname, just in case I receive any more bollocks like this.

Hi Stumbler

Following this AM meeting I agree it would be a good idea to apply some of the Six Sigma thinking and tools to the Change Management process and use this as an C&T case study.

In this circumstance I suggest we do not use the "classical" Six Sigma DMAIC process which is fundamentally flawed. Six Sigma and the DMAIC process assume the problems, processes and customers are known. Plus process date is either available or can be readily captured/measured.

I suggest we should utilise some of the Systems Engineering/Soft Systems thinking ideas around requirements capture and the diagnosis of messy problems.

If you like, adopt a "pre DMAIC” phase to scope problem context, identify all the actors/players, understand the scope and boundaries of the problem and identify what we can and cannot influence. At present we are essentially dealing with an unbounded messy problem

This can be followed by an Analysis Phase applied to the current ("AS IS") CM process and modus operandi.

I suggest the following steps.

1 Map the E2E process utilising IDEF (0) notation - this could be turned into a "swim lane " model to indicate process flow across organisational units

IDEF 0 can used as the basis for "SIPOC" documentation with the process controls identified (Six Sigma SIPOC does not include process controls or feedback loop we need to be able to understand the feedback loops and "emergent properties" around the process interactions

2 Carryout FMECA analyses for each process step

3 If possible build a simple Cost of Quality model also identifying the costs of the Consequences of process failure and the cost of the root causes of process failure. I suspect we will only be able to get approximate data and costs (yellow and red box models)

4 Identify the CTQs (Critical to Quality ) must do an extension of

5 build a very simple QFD model (demonstrator)

6 use the above diagnosis and analysis as inputs into Jack’s CM strategy document.

Thoughts?

The Officer

I know exactly what my thoughts are, but in anything other than this blog they’d be unprintable.

Later, GrocerJack