Dirty Digger vs The Grinning Jumper

Sky vs Virgin in a battle of media giants.







It's well documented what I think of Sky, the money-grabbing useless fuckwits. I've not always been the biggest fan of the Great Leader Murdoch Senior, let alone his egotistical son, Dear Leader. In my eyes, News International have been allowed far too much power through excessive media ownership across the globe, but nowhere more than the Land of Dope and Moron that is the UK. But successive governments of either persuasion have been simply too scared of him and have basically doffed their caps and opened their political arses for a good long shafting.

Branson is a grinning fool, or that's the image he likes to convey. As far as astute businessmen go though he must be a ruthless bastard because we all know you don't get rich and powerful by being nice. Yes, he is a self publicising twat at times but he does seem to realise the value of publicity, even if it makes him look a dick. His appearance last week after the Cumbrian train crash showed at the very least his compassion. Can anyone imagine The Dirty Digger doing similar?

After my own encounter with Sky and my subsequent acceptance back into the NTL fold after eating sizeable slices of humble pie, I was glad to see the Virgin takeover of NTL. Lets face it, NTL had an image problem that would never disappear even if they single handedly removed famine from Africa and resurrected Princess Diana. Their customer service was as bad as Sky's, but at least they didn't send out fuckwits to install equipment. Not to my house anyway.

The new Virgin service has been good. I'm on the £85 VIP deal giving me 10Mb broadband, Sports and Movie channels and free calls to virtually everything, plus the fab V+ HD box which pauses live TV and frankly kicks the arse of SkyPlus very hard. So, we lost Sky One, that paragon of British TV content (sic), with its ad break 2 minutes into the programme and shite such as Cirque de Celebrity, HogFather and Project Fucking Catwalk. As for Sky Two, well as if one wasn't bad enough along came the single worst second channel since the sheer bollocks of ITV2, undisputed king of dismally bad TV. How comes we get to keep any ITV Channel - now there' some shite I'd gladly lose.

Sample ITV2 schedule
19:00 - American Idol
20:00 - American Idol
21:00 - More American Idol
22:00 - American Idol Uncovered
23:00 - American Idol Uncut
00:00 - Idol of America
01:00 - American Twat

Sample Sky One/Two Schedule
19:00 - The Simpsons (US)
19:30 - The Simpsons (US)
20:00 - Lost (US)
21:00 - 24 (US)
22:00 - Lost Again (US)
24:00 - 24 Again (US)
01:00 - Still fucking Lost somewhere in plotless clueless sideshow

We also lost The Sun of the airways, Sky News - how many self respecting journalist could work them is beyond me. Still pay anyone enough and they'll happily spout the Murdoch agenda having had a good mouthwash on a fresh injection of his jizz. Sky Sports news was good, and I will miss that, but Virgin could do a similar channel. I mean how fucking dear can it be to employ some sports hacks and get interviews with managers and sports people?

Sky Travel and Sky Travel extra were the other losses (sic) - oh yeah, key channels in the Grocerjack household! So here's my message to the pair. Well done Virgin, its about time someone stood up to Sky. Long term you've got little hope and a real battle, but thanks for trying. Sky - you really are just a bunch of bullies who can't take any challenge of competition. Kill it at birth, that's your philosophy, just like you did with BSB. Every empire falls though, very empire falls.

Come on Beardy

Later, Grocerjack