A lazy post to start the week.....

I figure my next real bit of writing will be something to do with the Chelsea vs Barcelona match at the Camp Nou stadium tonight (see pic). Notice the similarity to The Colloseum? Chelsea, the Gladiators are entering the Lion's den. No doubt we'll be reduced to 10 players at some point and play heroically, and no doubt that 90% of the UK football following population will be draped in Barca colours and praying to the Gods of Football to side with Barca and give us upstarts a damn good thrashing. So be it. It appears that the current vogue for anti-Chelsea bile in the press and broadcast media is the price that success brings. Perhaps we need a tragedy to level the sympathy score. Hmmm....I'll take the disliked option I think. Anyway as I prepare my critique for the game my thoughts are pretty much focussed on nothing else. I belive we have a mountain to climb and that Barcelona will be just a little too good for us in light of their first leg lead. Of course this view horrifies some of my fellow Chelsea-loving acquaintances who firmly belive that we will win by 2 or 3 clear goals. I admire their optimism but after 35 years my sense of pessimism over every game is still deeply ingrained within my heart and soul. I belive the game will contain an element of controversy and the only thing that will cause Barcelona to come unstuck is if they adopt a "devil-may-care" attitude that they have already won the tie. Then, just then we might see a Chelsea side determined to do something for much missed son, Peter Osgood (see posts passim) and produce a truly huge upset. One that even matches Liverpools comeback against AC Milan in the final of the same competition last year.

Based on this premise around my sole train of thought being Chelsea oriented today, I thought I'd start with a lazy post using info sent to me last week. Why someone would think this stuff interests me who knows? However it does make good and fluffy material for people to read without any them having to engage their minds in heavy thought.

Ever wonder where the word “SHIT” comes from? Well here it is:

Certain types of manure used to be transported (as everything was years ago) by ship. In dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas.

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was discovered what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "S.H.I.T" on them. This translated into "Ship High In Transit."

In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

So, I bet you didn't know the history of that word. Neither did I. I always thought it was a golf term.

Ever wondered why it is only 18 holes of golf..., and not 20, or 10 or an Even dozen? Well during a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scots figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

Other trivial facts

· During the 13th century, the word girl meant any young person, whether male or female.

· The sewing machine was patented on July 17, 1790.

· The largest desert in the world is on the continent of Antarctica. The yearly precipitation is only about 2 inches of snow for most of the continent.

· The coldest temperature ever recorded on Earth was in Antarctica? It was 128.6 degrees Fahrenheit below zero

· The worlds first general use electronic computer was completed in 1946. Called ENIAC, it contained about 18,000 vacuum tubes and measured around 8 feet tall and about 78 feet long! Most wristwatches have more processing power than ENIAC had.

· The Pacific Ocean contains about 25,000 islands.

· To protect their eyes from blowing sand, camels have three sets of eyelids.

· If all the gold suspended in the earth's oceans was "mined", there would be enough for every person on earth to receive 9 pounds

And finally, 3 smart-arse quotes to remember....

The graveyards are full of indispensable men." - Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty." - Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

"Behind every great fortune there is a crime." - Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

Later, GrocerJack