Why? Because he got paid a load of money to walk around with a mouth full of whatever to make him look like a hamster. Whereas I have paid someone else to deliver the same effect for me. Exactly one day on from having the first bit of Bionic metalware inserted in my mouth, the inside of said orifice is like a freshly ploughed field. The silicone gel inserts that I have been given to cover the metal are akin to covering your razor with a film of vaseline, only less effective. However they force me into making more than passable impressions of Don Corleone in full flow, with added spittle for that real authentic silly old git effect. When I drink they drop off, when I eat they also fall off and get mixed up with the food and swallowed. If I remove them then the metal just starts another round of fresh skin grating. This could be the best weight loss programme ever. But it certainly isn't making me walk around with a happy disposition.
Later, GrumpyJack
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