Once again apologies for not updating this daft little journal for a week or two. Those apologies are even more heartfelt by the fact that there has been so much to write about and comment on. Prior to my break at The Money Pit the creative juices were as depleted as North Sea cod stocks or alternatively as low as the water table in the arid South East of Mediocre Britain. The reason is simple – the new job started last week and to be honest my feet haven’t touched the floor. In fact to paraphrase another hackneyed old cliché, I’m so busy finding my bloody feet that when they do become a reality then maybe I can use them to slow everything down. Those longer term readers will know that this blogging malarkey all started up just over 3 years ago after a re-organization …sorry transformation took place at The Company and I was mapped into a Change Planning role as a weird sort of reward for having my arse on the line for the previous 3 years in the god-forsaken unforgiving and stress-riddled role of UK Operational Manager of The Company’s network. I blogged because I could, and because I was bored, and because it seemed an ideal outlet for the daily frustrations of work and life in general, especially in light of impending middle age and the alleged inevitable decline in mental and physical capability .
After blogging for 3 years and being able to because frankly no-one noticed if I produced anything or not I now find myself in a job with a new boss, The Scream, who seems very affable, doesn’t interfere and isn’t a control freak. I haven’t liked a boss so much since working for The Mysterious M (see blog posts passim). My new team seem too good to be true as well. Maybe I’m just a cynic but having today completed all of their initial “1 to 1” meetings which I have deliberately made informal until they know me all I can say is there are no egos at play, and no Primadonna attitudes at loose. No-one has any burning issues, they all like each other, are very supportive of each other and seemingly me as well, all knowledgeable and hardworking, all willing to go the extra mile and all take their turn at the tea! Its hard to describe how refreshing it is to find people who have a tea rota and expect the boss to be part of it! The only downside that I can see is the obsession with food. 2 of the desks are loaded with cakes, biscuits and other goodies and it seems to me that every day the stocks are mysteriously replenished. The biggest worry I have is that my lack of willpower around such goodies will destroy any lingering ability I have at controlling my weight where it is. As I turned up on my first day (late due to “almost out of closet” car sharer”) and skulked in they made me feel immediately welcome by ripping the piss out of me mercilessly. It was like returning to a spiritual home.
It was also like the first day at a new school and not even the plus side of everything could make up for the trauma of meeting new people, remembering names and roles and trying to judge them for their sense of humour. I felt the like the new kid with the shiny shoes, pressed uniform and smart new blazer whose Mum had just wiped some breakfast off his chin with her spit and an old hankie outside the school gates. It’s been a long time since I had to go through that, but with any luck the cheeky, chirpy, cheerful, no airs and graces, cockney chappy approach seems to have worked.
In fact it’s like a return to a bygone age of interesting work being done in an atmosphere of trust lined with genuine fun and not laden down by poxy bureaucracy and managerial initiatives and corporate gobbledygook bollocks speak. There is some of that around but the reality of this new job and new department is that it is occupied by people who deserted from the despatched wasters ship from Golgafrincham (see Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy), shouting
“I am useful! I can be valuable! I will not be cast aside! I will not be brainwashed into speaking Corporate Gobbledygook Bollocks Speak!”
In fact after the last role it’s a bloody miracle. Of course its early days and maybe the spectacles have had a fresh covering of rose tint and the nostrils have had the bullshit receptors removed, but maybe if I park my normal unhealthy cynicism…….. it may just be all true and will remain that way.
Watch this space and I’ll introduce you to my new team and cast members.
Blimey, Grocerjack
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