......I am finally off to France shortly for what I believe is a well earned break. I have a feeling though that it won't be all play as something's bound to need doing. GMD already has plans for me to erect a steel storage shed at the back for us to store sheets, duvet covers and clothes etc in order to cut down on the luggage load. However, rather there than here I guess. Yesterday was Orthodontic fitting (part deux) and the experience of a cervical smear for the mouth was fully repeated, but was even more uncomfortable as it went on for 90 minutes. Luckily Dr B is a friendly soul and chatted incessantly to me throughout. I now have 3 lots of additional mouth furniture.
1. ) A clear rubbery bite adjuster for the bottom row when eating - very attractive
2.) A removable appliance or brace as we used to call them for the upper teeth also adjusting bite and "getting things moving" in Dr B's words - very uncomfortable and painful
3.) The top front six teeth now have the first wired fixed appliance on them - very unattractive
The brace is uncomfortable and means I now talk very similarly to Freddie "Parrot Face" Davies. The hardest things to pronounce are words containing letters G, D, S , X, C, J, and Z. In fact my 3 year old nephew has better pronunciation than me now! As the fixed wires were tightening up I had visions of torture cells flash in front of me as the teeth groaned under the strain of being pulled together. According to Dr B, this is necessary in order to change the bone structure which eventually will help the final result look "stunning" in her words. Why do I hear echoes of Dr Frankenstein here?
Anyway, the upshot is I look different, rather horrible actually and now I sound like I have a severe speech impediment as well. And yes, it is painful as well, so plenty of Ibuprofen will be required, although I think the French probably have more favourable anaesthetics available.
Testing times in the cause of vanity indeed.
So, enjoy Easter mon amis. I will be back on the 17th with stories aplenty. In the meantime please enjoy the work of art I have left for you. Click to enlarge. Its a Turner and is called The Keelmen Hauling in the coals at the end of the day"
C'est Magnifique.
Au revoir, EpicierJacques
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