How to feel old.....

I haven't played golf for around 6 weeks due to golf partner illness, general sloth and piss poor weather conditions. So, Sunday I decided to take my chances of getting hideously sunburnt in apparently arid Britain and went out for a knock with some of the Jolly Boys who are heading off with me to Spain for some summer golf/drinking/world cup footie in July. I was almost expecting to drive past hordes of ragged, parched people standing in line with buckets for the stand pipe such has been the hysteria surrounding an alleged water shortage in the south.

Funny how it was never an issue pre-privatisation huh? Of course it wouldn't be anything to do with the old economic maxim that the scarcer a commodity is, or is perceived to be the more money you can charge for it, the bigger the profit you make, the happier the shareholders will be, would it?

Tonic Man, Deadeye, The King and myself met at the course around midday. Well, I appreciate we haven't had the wettest of winters last year but frankly the last couple of weeks have barely seen a day without substantial rain where I live. Yesterday was no exception as we battled elements to play in bright sunshine one secong, howling wind the next and torrential rain after that. In fact the game was hard enough after such a long-ish lay off without Mother Nature being a complete bitch as well. The last 3 holes were played in utter monsoon conditions.

So, cold, wet and slightly miserable we went to the clubhouse for a drink. During that brief 45 minutes or so someone decided to to inject every joint and muscle in my body with a super glue that fixed everything into the seated position. When I got up to leave every single bone, joint and muscle that I can reasonably be said to possess screamed in agony. I walked like an 80 year old incontinent man with arthritic hips and broken feet. I moaned like one as well. Of course this isn't the first time this has happened but normally by bedtime things have improved, and if I play within a few days then there isn't a problem. Last night it just seemed to get worse. Even my knuckles hurt. At one point even my fingernails seemed to hurt. I was close to googling a search for "Zimmer frame suppliers". I didn't sleep much Sunday night as there didn't seem to be any comfortable positions where some part of my anatomy wasn't moaning.

Bloody hell, 44 and stiffening up like someone twice my age. Despite losing weight and generally eating healthier this was a real shock and a typical indictment on the falsehoods of eating healthy. Perhaps I should go back on the Pizza's and chocolate then....

Later, GrocerJack