Just when I thought I'd paid everything and saved enough for some decking on The Money Pit we got a quote today from the camp site......errrr....I mean holiday parc (with a "c" apparently). Guess how much to have it installed?
£1500
Yup, 1500 fucking quid.
Now , we had budgeted for about a grand for the decking plus £200 -ish for a portable air-con unit. But somehow another 50% on top again?
Someone, somewhere is making a lot of money out of pieces of planed and pre-formed wood.
Seriously if I had any clue as to where to start with doing it my bloody self I would, but even I know it takes two and GMD wouldn't be much help, bless her, as DIY and stuff is not her forte. I'm not even sure if its beter to buy the stuff there from Monsieur Bricolage, the french equivalent to B&Q or buy it here from B&Q, the English version of ...err....Monsieur Bricolage and take it their in the back of the Meriva. Besides I've never "set a post" in my life, and never built anything even remotely requiring a spirit level, let alone anything with a 1:100 "fall" for water drainage.
What I need is a mate who's a chippy. Just my luck that all I know are builders, sparks, plumbers, militaria dealers, network engineers, lawyers, publicans, health and safety officers, (boo...hiss) and civil servants (apologies to those I have missed). I even asked our resident DIY expert, BigSykes, my brother-in-law if he fancied helping me, but he has issues about going abroad it seems as his answer was a rather wimpy "but I've never done decking before"...hmm...... he's never knocked a kitchen through but he managed that last year.
I know in the grand scheme it's a trivial problem, but you know, I just wanted everthing done and dusted this year. But it seems the financial forces are against me this time.
Thoughts that have run through my mind on this issue today.............
Maybe I should sacrifice the teeth straightening project........
Maybe I should enrol for woodwork classes......
Maybe I should torch the fucking thing and claim the insurance back.......
Maybe I should have bought a touring caravan....
Maybe I should have bought a tent......
Maybe I should ask someone who's out of work to help me.......knowing my luck I'd get an offer from Mark Oaten....hmmm methinks not........
Maybe I could sell a kidney for £500.........
Maybe I could leave it until next year and let evryone drag mud and grass inside it......
Maybe I should sell it and holiday in Bognor every year......yup, 12 miles up the road...not good
Maybe a series of huge bean bags against the front would be just as good......
How would a series of pallets from B&Q look if nailed together?
So, any chippies fancy a free weekend in France? You lead the way, I'll be your apprentice.
Later , PotlessJack.
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