Yeah, like any of you give a fucking shit. Anyway because at least one person might be interested, I played a shocker on the Sunday going round the PGA National course at The Belfry. After all the good of the previous week in Devon, and even a reasonable score on the relentlessly difficult West Course at Wentworth I had a complete fucking nightmare on this course. Golf can be a right cunt of a game vecause just when you think you're eaking at the right time, along comes a course that will reduce you to almost tears. Needless to say, that night I decided to play it safe for the big game on The Brabazon course. Nothing too lairy, nothing to stupid, just a nice relaxing meal, courtesy of The Company because it was their event.
So, I drank Stella for the first time in god knows how long, mixed up nicely with some white wine, followed by copious amounts of red. At 12:30 (am) I was bollocksed. Kidneys and liver silently screaming at me to stop. A complete failure in the control system between brain and mouth had occuered from about 11 that evening. I was finally persuaded to quiot when it became apparent that the native Kyrzygstani that I had started to speak was not helping my social skills, nor my ability to order another large portion of AlcoPoison.
Lets also state that The Belfry, nice as it is, is not exactly a ....ahem...target rich environment so best behavioural emergency brain/mouth protocols were subconciously applied. During the course of this evening there was a highlight, well from a golf perspective anyway. The organisor announced the arrival of the mystery speaker - a Mr Sandy Jones. For the uninitiated he is the Chairman of the European PGA, which is just about the top job in golf, alongside the equivalent for the USGA (coz the yanks think they invented the sport). So what I hear you say. Well, here's what...........he bought along the actual Ryder Cup. The trophy that Europe so convincingly won again last year in America. We all had our photo taken with it, in a presentation frame, to keep, for fuck all. I even got to pick it up and hold it aloft. Not a bad little bonus to say the least. Sandy Jones himself was both funny and articulate and actually seemed to enjoy taking the time to personally talk to us hackers afterwards at the bar. A top geezer.
Next day , we were teeing off at 8 in the morning on the Brabazon course, where Europe took the trophy from the yanks in 1999. Fantastic. Our group started on the 18th which meant we finished on the 17th. But as we had to walk past the 18th to get back to the clubhouse this also meant we might as well play the 18th again for fun. So we did. A great course, far more enjoyable for my level than the Wentworth West Course (did I mention I played that last week?). And belive me the anasthtic affect of the night before worked a treat as I had a very respectable round to erase the memopry of the shite from the day before. So, 2 rounds of golf, 3 meals, overnight accomodation, free wine on the tables, a photo with the Ryder Cup, a goody bag with golf gifts to the value of around £80....all for the princely sum of £100. Sometimes , like I say, the hypocrisy of working for The Company and having to put up with utter fuckwits for most of the day can be worth it.
Later, GrocerJack
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