Three Notes…..

Happy Birthday to LittleSis who today reached the age of………….yeah ….like I’m gonna fucking broadcast that to everyone and piss her off (she’s a semi-regular reader). Lets say she’s not anywhere near the big Four-O yet, but 21 is also a gonner as well! Anyway I hope she continues to enjoy the day and the weekend. Her and GMD, along with MiddleSis and some other members of the coven are off out for a birthday Ruby tomorrow evening, no doubt taking in some liquid fuel along the way. To this end I have sacrificed my usual Friday night sojourn to the pub for the usual football, sex and politics debate, where I am always singled out as the local (and it seems unique) socialist. I do tend to be brushed as some sort of commie pinko liberal wet nose, but the truth is I am a “champagne” socialist. I like what I’ve got and want more. So fucking shoot me all you rabid far left wing, sandal wearing lettuce chomping, unwashed fuckwits.

What the fucks that got to do with what I am writing I don’t know…just the usual ramblings of stupidity and boredom I guess. Anyway some observations…

St Patrick’s Day – I’ve ranted before about this I suppose but I just don’t get all these people out pissing it up and celebrating this night. By people I mean non-Irish people. People who do not have any Irish blood or any Irish connection. People who think Irish means “builder”. I am half Irish, my mum was from Sneem in County Kerry, so I do have a reason to go and knock a few down, however I am as proud to be half English as well. I choose not to because I have to work tomorrow and there is no place worse to have a hangover than fucking work! Anyway, all I am saying is why don’t these people celebrate St Georges day in the same raucous manner? I heard today that a magistrate in Norwich who granted extra drinking time to some pubs for Paddies Day, as well as some Yanks for Independence Day has refused a late licence for St Georges Day because “it isn’t a special day”. What a fucking wanker. No mate, it isn’t because twats like you prevent it from being one!

What is so wrong with the English patron Saint that we don’t enjoy our National Day? If its still associated with racism then why? Surely the patriotism shown during the England football campaigns has more or less destroyed that by now? I know some people seem uneasy about it because of our “imperialist” past, but fuck them, this is about us, this generation, having an excuse to have a fucking party and celebrate the fact that despite its shortcomings it’s still a better place, with a better culture, history and freedom than a lot of others.

Marmite Blobs – Were they serious. Removing an ad because 6, yes 6 people complained their kids were scared by a fucking brown blob. Don’t let them watch Oprah then. But just how mad is this world when this sort of shite goes on. Why not just explain to the kids that it is a blob of marmite and not something horrible….but then again if you don’t like Marmite….

Comic Relief - so much better than Children in Need. Two years between events means the quality control is that much higher. When you consider the abject bollocks served up by Children in Need the BBC is to be congratulated for this. Although not all bits were hilarious, most was funny, and the Little Britain guys made me laugh out loud , even the sketch with Sir Elton of Wankness. A special mention for Catherine Tate as well, a much unsung comedian, whose teenage girl character is fantastic and whose interrogation of pop wanksters McFly was absolsutely sublime…..”am I bothered…do I look bothered….is this face bothered….do I sound bothered….etc etc”. Chris Evans late show was also funny enough and rebellious enough o suggest that he still has something to offer TV. But the stand out top dollar bit was the ever outstanding genius of Peter Kay and his marvellous miming video of “Show Me the Way to Amarillo”. He is single handedly reviving and enhancing the career of Tony Christie. Although how Tony Christie isn’t as “big” as Tom Jones is a mystery to me because quite frankly his voice is sensational. You’d swear he was a genuine yank, and as for power, well he has it in abundance. He was always popular at my Uncle Georges house because I guess he appealed to the 40 something’s back in 1970 whenever, and it was a simple version of karaoke in those days. Get drunk, lob Tony Christie on, and hey presto, instant sing along music. I loved watching the adults have a crack at his stuff….especially the classic “I did what I did for Maria” and of course not forgetting the aforementioned Amarillo and “In the Avenues and Alleyways” the theme to one of Monty Bermans iconic ATV 1970’s glamour “spy” series, The Protectors. In fact they all had good theme tunes, Department S, Jason King, The Champions and of course the wonderfully cheesy The Persuaders which had the best theme of all. Why not bring them back and show them again?

Anyway, after a few pints of the black stuff we again contributed more than we probably can afford, but they do know how to grab the heartstrings with their videos. Whilst I won’t shove any money into Children in Need because it is a lazy, amateurish, contemptuous attempt to play the charity card and get people to pledge dosh without doing anything worthwhile, Comic Relief with its sure stewardship under the likes of Lenny Henry, Billy Connolly, Jonathan Ross, Rowan Atkinson et al seems to go from strength to strength. They make the effort. I’ll pay the money!

Later, GrocerJack