Sad old queen......

Did you know Elton John is gay? What a shocker huh? Blimey, will the bloody sad old queen never cease to find ways of telling us?

This week he appears in a Little Britain sketch for Comic Relief with Matt Lucas's Dafydd and gets the chance to utter the words "I'm the only gay in this village"............OK, thanks for that Elton, but I'm disappointed that the Little Britain guys have allowed their irreverant show to be come yet another marketing model for Sir Baldness of Eltons gay agenda.

But now to my utter frustration he is now the face of mobile telecommunications giant and bitter rival of The Company, Orange. In this ad he is being lauded by two "marketing" types on the joys of 3G and the fact that Orange will give you an additional 3G handset free of charge when you buy one of theirs.

The advert, which no doubt some Nathan Barley type thought was highly witty ends with the truly cringeworthy strap line of Sir Elton Bald saying "I'm gay" and the the marketing bloke saying "Your gay? We're delirious!"

I don't question the mans right to be gay, or his right to make a few (more) bob from featuring in ads , and even having one of his latest piss-poor tunes as the backing music. But frankly I'm fucking tired of being told that he is gay. I'm tired of his playground like double entendres in every chat show. Does he really think he's championing the cause of gay men by constantly spouting on about his gayness? Why is he so proud of that, and yet so fucking vain as to wear piss poor wigs that give him the hair of a 10 year old. Have you ever heard him say "I'm as bald as a coot and have a massive collections of syrups" (wigs in rhyming slang to the uninitiated). No, course not.

Elton, take a leaf from George Michaels book. Shut up, live your life as you please but stop telling everyone you're gay. What next, a concerted leaflet campaign through everyones letterbox explaining your passion for some arse action? Full page ads in The Times announcing the truly amazing fact that you like a bit of cock?

Lord Elton of Wigness, You may be a very rich man, but your behaviour underlines the point that dignity is not something you can buy with cash.

Later, GrocerJack