Cornucopia

Just a few comments before a weekend of Guinness, Golf and Cycling. And who knows, with any luck I might even get a bit of rest. I believe that there is rest for the wicked you see.

World of Sport

Fernando Alonso moves away from McLaren and Lewis Carl Hamilton (anagram….Car Wealth? Millions) decides that he’s too popular to live in the UK. When I was a kid we called this “car racing” and in those days it was all about dashing, devil-may-care heroes laying their lives on the line in the pursuit of sheer speed and the glory of being the champion driver. Nowadays it’s a dull procession of overpaid pampered primadonna’s in a “sport” ruled by the richest teams who can simply buy the best or develop the best, and governed by a corrupt body of stuffy old farts that are completely out of touch with the fan base and the soul of the sport.

Much like football I suppose.

Celebrity Special

Richard and Judy are quitting their Channel 4 TV show and I think the world of daytime TV will a poorer place for this. I know he can be an irritating and arrogant know all, but there are times when he has handled sensitive subjects with real sensitivity. Judy has always seemed to show great respect for people and admiration for what they have to say. I can’t help but like them. Their original show, This Morning, changed the face of morning daytime TV by creating a successful and popular magazine format and has consistently beaten any opposition from the Beeb or anyone else. It’s a testament to what they created that Phil Schofield and the gorgeous (my guilty secret) Fern Britton have continued that success by imposing their own personalities without really changing the format. Call me a cynic, but Richard has stuck with Judy through a time in her life when ill-health has ravaged her looks and figure, and occasionally her mood. In the shallow world of the TV celeb it’s obvious he would have been presented with plenty of “away-days” but, as far as we know, he has never been tempted.

Or never been caught.

Travel News

A new car share starts for me on Monday, taking it to 3 of us. The previous one collapsed when the closet sharer gradually decided to go his own way. Frankly he’d been pissing me and The Happy Hammer off for months by continually turning up hideously late and not apologising. He even recruited 2 other young blokes from the area into his team in what now looks like a blatant attempt to create a break away car share.

Or maybe it’s to share some George Michael moments.

Crime Shock

The Met are guilty! Apparently. In a time of heightened stress and fear we all know they fucked up when they shot the illegal Brazilian immigrant Jean Charles De Menezes, and no matter what his status he did not deserve to die. Especially at the hands of an apparently trigger happy bunch of gung-ho coppers. But the truth is they acted in haste and by mistake, a tragic and terrible mistake. But, the fact is shit happens and I’m unconvinced that the police are guilty of anything other than a horrendous error of judgement. A little known fact is that to date their have been 10,000 incidents to which armed police have been called, and guns have been used (firearms discharged in copper-speak) on just 3 occasions. It’s hardly the sign of a police force making its own law is it?

Sir Ian Blair is being pressured to resign, but I’m not sure this is deserved or serves any purpose other than to deliver yet another political scalp and lose more hard earned experience. In fact where this whole culture of resignation came from is the detestable tabloid press and their insatiable hunger for stories to sell newsprint and to show off their political clout. Why not give someone the chance to remedy the error of their ways, to put right what was wrong? What happened to the culture of forgiveness and redemption our so called Christian society was built on?

Friday Rubbish Jokes

Q. What tells you a spider is modern?

A. It has a web-site (groan)

Batman came up[ to me the other day and he hit me over the head with a Ming Vase and he went “T’Pau!!”
I said, don’t you mean “Kapow!”
And he said “No, I’ve got China in my hand”

I was reading this book the other day called The History of Glue. I couldn’t put it down.

I fancied a game of darts with my mate. he said "Nearest the bull goes first"

He went "Baa" and I went "Moo". He said "Your closest"

And finally

I've no problem with buying tampons, after all I'm a modern man.

But apparently they're not a real present.

have a good weekend

Later, Grocerjack