The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's licence in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
| DANGEROUS: | SAFER: | SAFEST: | ULTRA SAFE: |
| What's for dinner? | Can I help you with dinner? | Where would you like to go for dinner? | Here, have some chocolate. |
| Are you wearing that? | Wow, you sure look good in brown! | WOW! Look at you! | Here, have some chocolate |
| What are you so worked up about? | Could we be overreacting? | Here's my paycheck. | Here, have some chocolate. |
| Should you be eating that? | You know, there are a lot of apples left. | Can I get you a glass of wine with that? | Here, have some chocolate. |
| What did you DO all day? | I hope you didn't over-do it today. | I've always loved you in that robe! | Here, have some more chocolate. |
13 Things PMS Stands for:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and finally
13. Potential Murder Suspect
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