I've always believed there's one law for the Police and one law for the rest of us. The case in point was of the copper, PC Mark Milton who decided that it was acceptable to drive his car at 84 mph in a 30 limit, and then to reach a staggering 159mph on a Motorway. His reasoning was that fully trained Police driver, authorised to drive at high speeds he needed to test his new cars capabilities.
No argument from me on the need to understand the capabilities of the car, but like most I question his right to do so on a public road. I would love to test my cars capability but would view a "track day" as a frivolous waste of money that could be used on The Money Pit. However, is it beyond the realms of common sense for the Old Bill to be provided with this facility as a matter of course? Shouldn't they all be tested on a track rather than a Motorway? I wonder what would happen if it was you or me?
How would a copper, or even a beak react to these answers......
"Sorry Officer...I just thought I'd see what the performance ceiling was on my new motor"
"Sorry Officer...I needed to see just how much I could drink before being incapable of driving"
"Sorry Officer, I needed to test just how damaging to a human being an impact of 159mph would be"
"Sorry Officer.... I was just testing the CD player to see if i could hear it when driving at high speed"
"Sorry Officer...but I just wanted to see if it was possible to get a blow job at high speed and still control the car"
"Sorry Officer...but Top Gear said this car was crap and I needed to see for myself"
"Sorry Officer..but I heard there was survey about how many dead insects were on the front of cars and I thought I'd catch as many as possible"
"Sorry Officer...is this not a private track then?"
My favourite ever piece of sarcasm though came from a copper who had pulled someone up doing 120 on the M4. It was broadcast one morning on the radio. The driver pulled up as requested and then sat in trepidation as the copper slowly got out of his "vehicle" (only coppers call them vehicles). As the copper walked toward him he was scratching his head, a face full of utter disdain. The driver wound down his window as requested and the copper leant over and said.....
"Having trouble taking off are we Sir?"
Well, could you have kept straight face?
Later, GrocerJack
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